Weighty Issues

A tumblr dedicated to keeping me accountable for my weight loss as I head closer to my mid-20s. Amongst the weight loss posts and the general life posts, there will be laughing, crying, and hopefully, smaller sized pants.

B.
Height: 5'5"
Starting Weight (12.01.08) - 252 lbs.
Weight When I started blog - 210 lbs.
Current Weight (12.04.11) - 230 lbs.
Goal Weight - 150 lbs. or size 12, whichever comes first (subject to change)

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Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor

 

epiphanies

  • this was me about ten minutes ago and also a couple of days ago
  • suffice to say, the stress in my life has decided materialize in the form of tears
  • A LIST OF STRESSFUL STUFF;
  • school, in general.  sick of the work, sick of all the homework, and the upcoming projects that will fill my november
  • missing my best friend (all the way in FL, but gone most of the year anyway)
  • the weight struggle.  after a particular stress fest, i looked at tumblr and realized I’m the same weight I was 6 months ago.
  • my room is a disaster area.  like, i’ll get it almost clean and then it’s like my closet explodes and then there’s clothes fucking everywhere.
  • the thought of looking for a job.  never mind looking for a job, but the actual thought of trying to find one just makes me so depressed.
  • social anxiety over making new friends.  the internet can only sustain a person for so long.  it’d be nice to add to the group of friends that i have, or shocker: make new friends and new groups.
  • BUT THEN THERE’S GOOD STUFF TOO, THAT MAKES ME THINK EVERYTHING MIGHT BE OKAY;
  • have gone to the gym 3 days in a row: Saturday (35 minutes on treadmill), Sunday (55 minutes on treadmill), and today (hour long sculpting class) with intentions of going tomorrow (exercise/dance class) and Wednesday (hour long sculpting class with crazy teacher who I’ve been avoiding but if I want Obama arms, this is the way to do it)
  • going to Chicago on New Year’s Day to see The Black Keys with my bro
  • okay, so my weight was the same 6 months ago when I started this.  And yeah, I could see that as a bad thing, but you know what?  It also means I can MAINTAIN.  I mean, sure the weight has gone up (+4 from this weight, which I was able to correct pretty immediately) and down (-11 from this weight, lowest weight ever), but being able to maintain at this weight gives me hope that when I finally do hit whatever magic number my body settles on, I’ll be able to maintain within that weight too.  And that’s kind of a huge relief for me because believe you and me, I am fucking terrified of just waking up one day and all that weight is magically on me again (hasn’t happened, obviously, but still.  the fears, they’re there)
  • i’ve recommitted to me.  I lost 50 lbs and went through a sort of plateau/depression about it - for as great losing 50 lbs was, it was just so daunting to realize that I still had another 50 to go and it just seemed so hard and like it was never going to end.  So over the weekend I decided - it’s time to work again.  I threw myself a giant pity party and it’s high time I left - for as great as I feel now (better than I have my whole adult life), it’s time to keep going.  It’s time to continue the water drinking, the vegetable/fruit eating version of me.  It’s time to continue being a regular at the gym, to not be afraid of the weights, to define the muscles that are going to start peeking out soon.  I know what it’s like to be at this weight and a size 16 and to be unhappy and to keep going until I was a size 20 and fed up with everything.  And now I know what it’s like to be a size 16 and happy about it (present me) and I realize that the next pants size is a size 14 and holy shit, I’ve never been a 14 in my adult life ever.  I might’ve been a size 14 for like six months as a high school sophomore (that’s when I started getting my symptoms for PCOS and not realizing it).  Anyway, the point being - it’s time to buck up.  I might not hit the size 14 by Christmas (my ultimate goal), but I’m sure as hell going to hit it by my 25th birthday (six weeks after Christmas).  I refuse to be taken hostage by the holidays and I feel like this year, I actually believe myself when I say it.
  • Okay Tobias.  You can keep sobbing in the shower, but I feel like this now:

  1. crabbypatties said: slow and steady ma’am. You’ll get back in the game, don’t worry!
  2. weightyissues posted this